Day 104: Weigh In #15

do you have a need to succeed?  i do.  i hate failing at something i genuinely put effort into.  i hate coming up short.  i hate not measuring up to a goal or a standard that i set for myself or that someone else set for me.

i’ve honestly been a little frustrated lately.  i was supposed to be at my goal weight by november 3rd.  i was not.  i am not.  now, don’t get me wrong…i am thrilled today that i lost 1.5 this week, leaving me just 7.5 pounds shy of my goal.  but that 1.5 was hard-fought.  they’re coming off slowly now – clinging on like wet clothes.  so, i have to give myself a little shake and ask how i will look at what feels mostly like frustrating failure?  how will i rise above that feeling to celebrate success?  how will i move forward?  the reality is, i have seen far greater successes than i have failures.  it’s just that failures are an annoying fact of life and they cling to my mind and recollection.  at least mine aren’t as scientifically and painstakingly counted as michael jordan’s are…but then again, i guess that means he has even greater, more staggering numbers for his successes…

here’s what this video made me think about…

for 104 days, i have been disciplined in my eating habits.  only twice in that time have i splurged and eaten something ‘forbidden’ and those two times were very much planned and very much a necessity for me to keep my sanity.  i went right back to doing it right the very next meal.

in 104 days, i have lost 29.5 pounds.

in 104 days, i have lost 53 inches.

in 104 days, i have dropped at least two pants sizes – i say at least because i haven’t really gone shopping to try on new clothes and see what size i actually wear now.  i just hike up my too-big pants and cinch my belt down.  i’m waiting to hit the goal weight before i indulge in a shopping spree

in 104 days i have been committed to exercise; i exercise more days of the week than i don’t exercise.

in 104 days i have not gained one single pound back.  some weeks i haven’t lost any, but staying the same is better than gaining.

in 104 days i am beginning to see the person in the mirror that i have been expecting to see for the last few years.

in 104 days i believe i am now treating my body better than i have in years…more like the temple i believe it to be.

so 104 days isn’t that much, right?  less than 1/3 of a year.  less than a semester of school.  less than the time i spent whining about wanting to lose weight…waaay less.

sorry if this post seems a little whiny.  it’s actually my way of pulling my chin up to look at the good instead of the bad.  i’m usually pretty optimistic, but  when you spend as much time focused on a goal as i have lately, it’s easy to forget all the ways of measurement and focus on the easiest to see (the one that stares you in the face from your bathroom floor every morning).  i guess i’m mostly talking to myself…like normal…

so here’s to sticking with it and patting yourself on the back once in awhile!


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