I am perfect.

I’ve been doing a lot of thinking and reading about perfection lately.  If you were to ask me if I am a perfectionist, I would most likely reply, “Not really.”  But I when I read blogs and articles and such about perfectionism, I find they are describing me.

Darn.

Because I have only just begun my thought processes on perfectionism, I will keep what I have to say very brief and refer you to the two latest blogs I have read on the subject.

The first blog I came across a couple of weeks ago has lived on an open Firefox tab on my browser since I read it.  I haven’t read it again, but something about knowing it is there – with its wisdom that I want to digest more – is comforting.  I’ve wanted to explore other blogs this dude has written, but I just don’t have the heart to navigate away from this post yet…

The other article I enjoyed explained that I am already perfect.  Then it makes the statement that “Once you accept this, it frees you.  You’re now free to do things, not because you want to be better, but because you love it. Because you’re passionate about it, and it gives you joy. Because it’s a miracle that you even can do it.”

I’ve struggled over the last week with some health issues.  I rarely get sick, so I’m not very good at it.  When I get sick, I’m a big belly-acher and literally question whether or not I’ll survive.  You can ask my husband – on more than one occasion I told him I thought I was probably gonna die.  Mind you, I was only sick for a total of about seven days (with various different ailments, but still…seven days).  Then I lamented over how I was off my “routine.”  No getting up early for Soul Anchoring.  No intense exercise (which I’d been doing 5 days a week for the two weeks prior).  Lacking appetite.  Then I lamented over how I would probably never be on my routine again.  He just looked at me.  It had been one week, but apparently every good thing I had ever done before was worthless and I was never going to do anything good again…

I think I’m a smidge perfectionistic…do you agree?  I didn’t do it “perfect” last week (did I mention I was sick??) so now I might as well give up ever getting it right.  I had made all these improvements (making myself better – see above quote from second blog) and now they were all going to be undone because I wasn’t able to do them for a week.  Where was the love and the passion for these things that brings me back to them even after a hiatus?  Apparently, there was none – it was all done for the sake of being better…of being perfect.

Well, patooey on that!  I got myself to bed Sunday night by 8:30p so I was ready to get up at 4:30a and jump into the routine that I actually do love.  It really does fill me with joy.  I really do have an amazing day when I take that time in the morning to Anchor My Soul through journalling and studying God’s Word and exploring my creativity.  I really do love it and am passionate about it – even when I don’t “do it right” every time – or for a whole week at a time!

I’m learning.  Slowly.  But surely.  And even if I mess up again, it’s still ok because it’s not about being perfect, it’s about loving what you do and doing what you love.

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